Worrying

It’s 10.15pm. I’m tired. Or I thought I was tired. Mr. Razzler and I decided to have an early night. I made my last few comments on blogs (obsessed? Maybe) and went to bed. Mr. Razzler is already snoring - I mean, he’s not even been there 5 minutes! Ping! I’m wide awake.

It’s probably because I’ve been a bit nervous and jittery this week. I made a stupid mistake at work, came clean, and waited for wrath to descend on me. It didn’t come. My boss thanked me for owning up and said not to worry, we’ll sort it out. But I was always one of those kids who was terrified about getting into trouble at school. If I was late handing in homework it would bring me out in stomach cramps. So even though this particular situation was nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be, I still have butterflies in my tummy.

It’s like… I’m waiting for them all to find out that I’m a fraud. And by them, I mean THE WHOLE WORLD. Everybody. How ridiculous.

Jesus told us not to worry. What’s the point? What does worrying achieve? Nothing. And yet I still do it. Almost every situation I’ve worried about recently has turned out fine. And the others God has given me the strength to cope with. Why can’t I learn this simple lesson? STOP WORRYING!!!

So, as I can’t sleep yet, I think I’ll blog about a bit. See if I can find anything deep and meaningful to take my silly mind off my own problems, which I don’t have the power to solve anyway, but which I will still worry endlessly about.