Thinking & Communication

I’m very sorry to those of you who enjoy my rambling thoughts for the lack thereof recently. Those who are irritated by the rambling thoughts – I promise I’m not offended.

I have been pondering things as usual (when don’t I?) but I haven’t been able to make them take a coherent form, so I didn’t want to blog about them. I’m a hideous perfectionist so if something is not communicated effectively enough then I get irritated. With myself and others.

This need for precise communication – where does it come from? Poor Mr. Razzler. I like to talk about the new ideas and concepts that pop into my mind. I like him to engage with me on these matters. Now, Mr. Razzler is a very practically minded sort of person. I love this about him. He can change fuses and other such useful things! We have very different personalities. I infuriate him on a regular basis because of my lack of observation skills. He’ll say, “Did you see what I did in the kitchen?” And my response is usually something along the lines of, “We have a kitchen?” He looks at me like I’ve suddenly grown another head.

However, I’m very observant when it comes to people. I notice subtle changes in expresion, body movements, etc. I notice how other people communicate and how they best understand communication, so I can often tailor my own communication to fit their needs.

But… and here’s where it gets complicated… I often struggle to verbally communicate the thoughts swishing round my own head. I can talk to someone about their own thoughts, and I can often understand where they’re coming from and help them with certain issues. But I can’t talk about myself! I get tongue-tied very easily. Mr. Razzler has pointed out (with relative frequency) that I often repeat myself. I know the reason for this. I think about everything before I talk. I have formed my thoughts precisely in my head. And am therefore often frustrated because they don’t come out of my mouth in the same way that they were when they were nestled snugly in my mind. I worry that I haven’t expressed myself adequately and the other person will therefore be left with an inadequate expression of my thoughts. I can’t bear that so I try again. And again. I’m working on this.

New thought. I’ve just been to lunch with 3 of my colleagues. I have worked out that they are all Sensing types. That’s Myers-Briggs who are unfamiliar with what that means. I am an iNtuitive type. Concepts, ideas, big picture stuff comes naturally to me. Details do not. My brain automatically takes leaps in thought; I’m not a linear thinker. You’d think, then, that S types would be very precise communicators. Not so. It’s like they sometimes get hung up on the details at the expense of the overall theme of the discussion. So… Topic A impacts on B and C. But my S friends are busy discussing A, and forget that A impacts both B and C. I often have to point this out to them. I find myself getting bored with just talking about A. I want to make the leap to B, C and beyond, with a potential detour around X!

I have to remind myself that being an N type is not better than being an S. Both are equally valuable. I must be careful to not get impatient with people simply because they think and communicate differently to me. I can be a perfectionist with myself, but I really should be more easygoing with other people.