Free to be me?
Well. What a day. I said earlier that church was good this morning but that I knew that God would prod me to be prayed for tonight. And I was right.
In this morning’s service we sang a song that had these words:
Incomparable, unchangeable
You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same
You are amazing God
After singing one of the elders got up and he said that he thought someone in the church had been thinking black thoughts. He wanted to reassure that person that God sees the depths of our hearts and all our thoughts and yet He loves us the same. I knew that that person was me.
That same elder prayed for me tonight. I sat and waited, becoming more and more nervous with each passing minute. I had tears streaming down my face, I was shaking like a leaf, I couldn’t even breathe properly and I was just about to leave when he turned and saw me. He came over. All I could manage to do was to whisper, “I don’t like being prayed for”. He looked at me with such compassion and then started to pray. He prayed that I would come to fully understand the love God has for me, that God cherishes me, that I am His daughter. Then he looked at me and said that he believed I need to realise that I can be me; he said, “You are free to be you - be free. I don’t know if that means anything to you?”. I told him it does. He prayed some more then we chatted. I said that I had wanted to skip this service but I couldn’t because I was singing. I had been fighting with God all the way through the service. He then told me that he was glad I hadn’t skipped because I was the person who came to his mind in the morning service.
Wow. I have nothing more to add right now. I need to process this. But how glad I am that I serve a God who loves me so much that he reaches out and touches me in such a wonderful way.
Is this too personal for my blog? I’m not sure. But I wanted to record it. It’s time to take steps. So, to that end, comments are back on.
WOW – What more can one say. WOW WOW WOW!
Exactly. I’m stunned.
God helps even when we’re not sure we want to let him
He does. But how easily we forget.
Well – I said last night that I would comment more when brain was in a better gear than last night so here goes.
It is great when we have a good worship service and really feel that the Holy Spirit is moving within us – even when we really aren’t sure we want to experience it.
I think that elder was obviously in touch with what was going on within you. While reading the words to yet another song came to me so I have been searching for it.
“Be free in the love of God
Let His Spirit flow within you
Be free in the love of God
Let it fill your soul
Be free in the love of God
Celebrate His name with dancing
Be free in the love of God
He has made us whole
Verse 1:
For His purpose He has called us
In His hands He will uphold us
He will keep us and sustain us
In the Father’s love
Verse 2:
God is gracious, He will lead us
Through His power at work within us
Spirit, guide us, and unite us
In the Father’s love
©1991 Thankyou Music (Admin. by EMI Christian Music Publishing)
All rights reserved. International copyright secured. ”
I sometimes wish I could have captured moments like these on video so I can remind myself of the way God works, for reassurance that I didn’t imagine it and to be able to remember what was said as I am usually so overtaken with emotion (I wouldn’t have allowed it to happen otherwise) that I forget what was said etc.
I think it is great that you are able to share so openly and honestly through your blog. I find it helps me in my journey so I believe if you are happy doing it then it is right.
I pray that you will be able to hold on to the feelings of yesterday and that God will continue to bless you. x
I hope what I write here helps somebody. I find writing it down helps it to stay in my memory.
Thanks for the words of the song.
Yep, the elder is definitely in touch – and it’s wonderful to think about, because this man knows nothing about me, so it must be God speaking through him.