Free to be me?

Well. What a day. I said earlier that church was good this morning but that I knew that God would prod me to be prayed for tonight. And I was right.

In this morning’s service we sang a song that had these words:

Incomparable, unchangeable
You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same
You are amazing God

After singing one of the elders got up and he said that he thought someone in the church had been thinking black thoughts. He wanted to reassure that person that God sees the depths of our hearts and all our thoughts and yet He loves us the same. I knew that that person was me.

That same elder prayed for me tonight. I sat and waited, becoming more and more nervous with each passing minute. I had tears streaming down my face, I was shaking like a leaf, I couldn’t even breathe properly and I was just about to leave when he turned and saw me. He came over. All I could manage to do was to whisper, “I don’t like being prayed for”. He looked at me with such compassion and then started to pray. He prayed that I would come to fully understand the love God has for me, that God cherishes me, that I am His daughter. Then he looked at me and said that he believed I need to realise that I can be me; he said, “You are free to be you - be free. I don’t know if that means anything to you?”. I told him it does. He prayed some more then we chatted. I said that I had wanted to skip this service but I couldn’t because I was singing. I had been fighting with God all the way through the service. He then told me that he was glad I hadn’t skipped because I was the person who came to his mind in the morning service.

Wow. I have nothing more to add right now. I need to process this. But how glad I am that I serve a God who loves me so much that he reaches out and touches me in such a wonderful way.

Is this too personal for my blog? I’m not sure. But I wanted to record it. It’s time to take steps. So, to that end, comments are back on.