Brain Dump

The wonderful zippy world of Karita. After a couple of months of gradually deepening depression everything suddenly switched on Tuesday. One minute I thought I was going to cry and the next I couldn’t stop laughing, running, bouncing, talking… I called my psychiatrist. I like this one. He pays attention, which is a welcome change.

Unfortunately, his advice was to take an antihistamine during the day to slow me down, which I did. And it did slow me down. Slowed me down so much my speech was slurred and I nearly missed my stop on the way home from work because I fell asleep on the train. Happy days.

So no more antihistamines. Instead I’m practicing the age-old method of deep breathing and forcing myself to pause between words so I don’t trip up over myself. I went to a meeting at my church last night and we had to vote on new leaders. I went, I voted and then I left before the rest of the meeting got going. I was finding it so hard just to sit still, I felt the urge to get up and pace around the church, which would have freaked people out. So I figured it was time for me to leave.

I’ve been on my own in the office this morning and me and the radio have had some lovely conversations.

I thought I could write a nice long rambling post today but actually I’m having trouble stringing a sentence together. I have words in my head but they can’t seem to attach themselves to anything.

Words words zippy bouncy step-daughter bitch love hate emotions blurry multi-coloured essays lecturers work administration boredom angel faith crisis singing radio wild unhinged cigarettes how do you like it how do you like it where do we go from here what to do now silly celebrities spinning round and round and round is there any sense where is the sense I can’t find it where is it no sense no sense round and round get ready tonight there may be wine dancing must slow down speeding up