Ties to the Past

I have been watching Star Trek: Voyager tonight. I love it. It fills me with warm and fuzzy feelings. As I was watching I started wondering why it affects me like that. And I realised that I first started watching it when I was visting my dad as a teenager. My sister and I would travel up on the train and when we got in we would dump our stuff in our bedroom. We would often spend our first evening there eating, catching up and watching Voyager, or Deep Space Nine. We knew we were home. One of our homes, anyway.

Over the last few weeks, one of the only things that has calmed me has been watching Star Trek. On a surface level, I just enjoy it. My inner geek roams free. But on a deeper level, I think it connects me to my past. All through the last week I have been trying to figure out what is the real me. An elder who prayed for me said that I am free to be me, but I’m not even sure what that means anymore.

I have been wishing that I could just be with my family. When I went to the birthday party of Mr. Razzler’s granddaughter I managed to enjoy myself, but I knew that I would have enjoyed myself a whole lot more if I had been with my family. They know me so well. Am I more myself when I’m with them? Even if I am, I have to find a way to be comfortable being myself with my new family, because they’re here, and my family is spread all over the country. I don’t have easy access to them. I love my new family, but they don’t know me. Not really. How do I change that? Do I need to? Do I want to?

Plans for the Weekend

This will prove beyond any shadow of a doubt just how sad I really am.

• Tonight I am looking forward to watching the episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation where Picard gets turned into a Borg.
• Tomorrow night I am dreading (in an highly excited, don’t-look-directly-at-it sort of way) watching Dr Who, because last week The Doctor regenerated, so we may have a new Doctor! What will I do without David Tennant on a Saturday evening? Who will I drool over?
• I have a bottle of wine in the fridge which I plan on drinking tonight. However, as I’m a total lightweight, I will most likely have at least half a bottle leftover for tomorrow night.
• I may die my hair dark red again tomorrow, in preparation for the coming excitements. On Wednesday I am getting it cut short. Then next weekend I shall get Mini Razzler to put bright pink streaks in it!
• I will probably spend most of the weekend picking out my perfect tattoo as I am getting a cross tattooed on my left arm next week!!!
• There is a high probability of a pub visit tomorrow afternoon.

See? Sad.

I Love Star Trek!

I know I said I was taking a break from blogging for a few days – but this was just too good to miss! The guy not only wrote it and sings it himself, but he also replicated his own voice to make it sound like a choir! Does it get better than this? Rise up fellow nerds!